I think anyone who has been a parent has shared the feeling of excitement that comes when your child does a “first.”  By that I mean, the first time you watch your child gain a victory over some skill or do something by themselves.  We applaud wildly when our little ones take their first steps or say their first words. When they are older, it’s other things that bring that joy, like reading by themselves or riding a two-wheeler for the first time.  We all spend those childhood years cheering our children on from one accomplishment to the next.

But there is a different perspective that I wish I was more conscious of and that’s the “lasts.”  So many times we have no warning that something will be done for the last time and we wish we’d known so we could take a moment and savor the experience one last time.  Things would take on a different meaning if you knew that it would be the last time.  I remember how many years I was awakened in the night to nurse a baby and how I would sometimes wish that season would end. But if I had known which time would be the last time, I think I would have taken a moment to acknowledge the experience as one that often brought a sense of peace and a pause that sort of said: “all is right with the world.” There was just something about that middle of the night experience that I now look back on and treasure. As that time passed I told myself with some relief, that the little fellow was finally sleeping through the night.  But after experiencing it with seven babies, I wish I’d known which time would really be the last because now I know that I would have looked at it differently.

Most times we are just living life, focusing on what comes next and we aren’t at all conscious of the passing of time. We probably miss a lot of lasts and never even notice. But last night I had an experience that reminded me that the lasts are important and I would do well to notice them. My youngest son has been involved in a program called Royal Rangers. It’s similar to Boy Scouts but since it is part of the Assemblies of God Church program, it has a strong Biblical focus. Last night Alex’s group had their Council of Achievement where they are presented with the merit badges they have earned during the previous quarter. Alex had worked very hard for several months and earned several merits as well as an impressive number of rank advancements.  I was so proud of him and at the same time, I became painfully aware that he was the last of the boys to have this opportunity and indeed, he was quickly moving forward and would move on to a new season as the others had.  He is really looking forward to moving on to youth group and likely won’t be in Royal Rangers next year so he only has one more quarter to work on badges and stand proudly before the audience to receive his awards.

You might say that focusing on the “lasts” just brings sadness and you are right, it does, but it also brings an opportunity to stop and savor moments that you would otherwise totally miss because of the pace of life. We move through life so fast that we are sort of on automatic-pilot, switching to the next season without thinking about what was gained in the previous one. We do have certain times where we have learned to take notice like school graduations and marriage, when we recognize that our children will be forever changed, never to return to their former lives.  When those things happen we greet them with feelings that are bittersweet. We wouldn’t take those moments away from our children, but at the same time, we grieve a little for what is passing.  But this is what parenting is, isn’t it?  A holding on and letting go, over and over.

I would like to suggest that there are many more subtle moments in life when our children are ready to move on to a new season and if we were aware, we would have some wonderful moments where we experience joy in the passing.  Yes, it will be bittersweet and some tears are likely to be shed, but they will be tears of joy as we see what has been done in that child’s life to get him to this new season.  Firsts are great, but lasts are the necessary stepping stones and are perhaps worth the pause required to acknowledge them.

Of course, it’s easier to notice the lasts for the youngest child because there are no more to follow but the lasts in the lives of the older ones are worth acknowledging too. I am praying that God will help me slow down and take more notice of the lasts that I may be thankful for each one and appreciate more what comes next.

Last week I had meetings all week.  In Iowa, one of the assessment options for homeschoolers is to work with a supervising teacher.  Since I was a licensed teacher in Ohio back in the 80’s I was able to obtain a substitute teacher’s license when we moved to Iowa. This allows me to act as a supervising teacher for other homeschoolers. I am required by the state to meet quarterly with homeschooling families so I meet in August, November, February, and April.  At these meetings, I talk to both the parents and the students.  The families I work with cover the spectrum of homeschooling methods. I have families who purchase their entire curriculum for the year as a packaged deal from their chosen publisher. I also have families who are total “unschoolers,” learning in rhythm with their child’s interests, using no conventional curriculum at all. The majority fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

I’ve noticed one similarity shared by all types of homeschoolers. They desperately want to do what is best for their children and, because of the skeptics they must constantly answer to, they doubt their ability to do what they desire most.

This is where I come in. One of the most rewarding aspects of this job is the opportunity I have to look these sometimes very discouraged moms and dads in the eye and say, “You can do this and I will help you succeed any way I can.”  Some visibly relax when they hear those words. Somewhere inside them, they know that they can do what is best for their child but the outside influences have slowly eroded their confidence.  My goal is to help rebuild their confidence and help restore some excitement about this homeschooling adventure they are on.

And, it is an adventure! Every day presents the opportunity to explore new ideas and make new discoveries. That’s what learning is supposed to be, not the drudgery of taking tests and completing assignments. While some find they need that sort of feedback, that isn’t where the joy of the journey is found.

The joy comes when you see your little boy read his first Bob Book all by himself or when you see the satisfaction on your daughter’s face the first time she gets all her multiplication facts right. But even better are those times when you watch a thunderstorm move in and learn together about the power of the weather. Or when you watch a bee on a tiny spring flower and you marvel at the incredible way creation comes to life after a long winter.

The best part of homeschooling is getting to experience these things with your children, not just hearing about them second hand when your children come home tired from a day in the classroom. That’s what makes it all worth it.

And, after a week of meetings, if I have been able to encourage my families to look at the bigger picture, I feel like I’ve made a difference. Yes, there are curriculum decisions to make and challenges to deal with but in the long run what matters most is the day to day interactions between parent and child. The homeschooling adventure happens a day at a time and sometimes a moment at a time.

Enjoy the journey!

–Sheryl